June 21st, 2000

shhh

(no subject)

*sigh* just got off the phone with scott (the one i had a crush on), i mentioned him before in this journal but didnt use his name... anyway, those messages are gone now cause im paranoid. you may recall a post awhile back saying "paranoia" thats when i deleted them :o\ anyway, it was good to talk to him again. i miss talking to him, hes really cool. damn... so, he hasent gotten back with lissa which is good cause shes a shitload of drama but hes now dating a lesbian :o\ i have a feeling thats not gonna turn out too well either... its a shame we didnt remain close friends while he was with lissa cause i would have liked to have been able to have a shot at him... eh, maybe not cause then i would have felt like i was just a rebound n stuff plus i would be paranoid that he would dump me only to go back to her... BUT NOW HES WITH A LESBIAN??? :o\ i dont know, its all very strange. i dont want to crush on him anymore, AND I SHOULDNT... he already has someone and he made fun of me for being agora phobic!!! i dont think i am really, but he says im just like my mom and i HATE to hear that cause my moms a total nut case :o( FUCK! i need to get out of my house and become a normal person!!! oh well, i hope he get home safe from work tonight. he hasnt slept much lately... i dont know how he does it
shhh

(no subject)

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shhh

(no subject)

just got out of the shower... my mission for today is to buy a lamp and a big fan i dont know how i will get this stuff home but thats what im gonna buy