February 20th, 2001

shhh

dumb

i hate the type of girl ive been. i always told myself i wouldnt happen to me, because wasent *that* stupid. i dont ever want to be like that again. i want to go back to being me.

lately my dreams/nightmares have seemed so real.
  • Current Mood
    disappointed disappointed
shhh

(no subject)

im hungry. it feels like im about to burp, but my stomach just growls. i think ill make soup.

do you know exactly just how big my thighs and ass have gotten? too big. i keep thinking that my clothes shrink every time i wash them, but but that isnt possible. even the pants ive bought recently (like a few weeks ago) dont fit the way they did when i bought them, and they were bought with the fact that im getting fat im mind :o\

***
bluemoonbear: you hate to give up too easily, but then there comes a point where you say WTF?
  • Current Mood
    fat
shhh

to his ex...

"life is fairly empty. i got the cards and smiled. we'll
hang out this summer ? i'll do my best to come. how are you feeling
nowadays ? i think about you sometimes, and know i miss it, but don't
really remember how it was.

jag
"

his response to me...

"thats just regular conversation between us."

isnt that nice.

i spoke to her this morning. she told jag i was being "nasty" to her. whatever. i swear some people just like to start shit.

she told him to mail her from a different address so i wouldnt be able see her telling him that i was so nasty to her. why would she need to hide that? if was nasty, then i was nasty. anyhow, since when have i been one to hide being nasty?

xangelicdestinyx: i apologize for being so "nasty" to you this morning.
devilgirl: you werent nasty
xangelicdestinyx: it wont happen again

he keeps calling here. i hate the sound of his voice. i *really* can not stand it.
fuck, i cant get out of here soon enough. i wish i had a car.
  • Current Mood
    aggravated aggravated
shhh

hah, wtf...

jag: good fight going on lj.. you want dinner ? i could bring
something home like nowish for you.. and then go back to work.. be done
for 2 or so..
  • Current Mood
    stressed stressed