November 21st, 2001


sweet destiny, carried me through desperation, to the one that was waiting for me.

it will be at least 1:30am before i get to sleep if i take the pills now and who knows what time if i dont. i want to sleep without the pills so bad cause there are things i need to do tomorrow and ill never be able to wake up in time if i take em :o\ this is why i need a god damn boyfriend who knows how to give a massage. i need someone to make me all warm and relaxed so i can fall asleep like normal people. plus it will make my back feel 123412423414x better. i hate my back. hrm. now that im thinking about it, thats not such a bad idea. i wonder if i can put an ad in the paper for something like, "decent looking female in need of clean good looking male to massage her to sleep every night then cuddle up beside her till morning". i dont really want all the rest of the junk that comes with a relation ship, do i? nope i dont think so. if massage boy could be someone i liked talking to thatd be a plus. maybe someday when im rich ill get me one of them. it wouldnt be such a bad job to have.
  • Current Mood
    sore sore

and he finds a home in me.

"have you seen the bald guy? 'the back one?' no, the other bald guy." -bald guy #1.

heh. that could be anyone where i live. saying "the brown one?" wouldnt have narrowed it down much. i dont know why but that quote is the only thing that stands in my mind from today.

im bored.

oh, yeah. i didnt get to sleep till around 10 or 11? i started to watch abfab then fell asleep somewhere long the fist episode then woke up during the end of the last. i think the dvd is 180 minutes long. then i went back to sleep and woke up every once and a while because the phone was ringing, till about 2pm. tonight, i take pills.

its so sad. i have to learn all this crap in a short period of time and its just not sticking. well some of it is, but not enough to bring up my grade, i dont think. there are just too many freakin things to learn in a short period of time. i wish i had someone that i could write on. then i could just have them walk around nekkid and everytime i looked at a part of their body id have it labeled. bet id learn real fast that way. hrm, but that wouldnt work for the bones would it? damn. it could help though. at least id know which area the bone was in. then the problem would be figuring out which one is which. maybe i should try reading the chapter. ooo, now theres a thought. why does everything have to have such a funky name. fuckin pain in the ass terminology.

i remember in school i used to write all over people. just crap, or silly things on their neck and back so theyd have to get someone to read it to them. last person i think ive done that to is billy at jamies party. i wrote something about him being off limits cause all these little hoes were trying to fuck him. mmmm, billy. wonder whats become of him. i hope hes not dead. he was in the army or navy last i heard. billy is good. fuckin jamie :o\

i have to pee.

i think i want to watch a movie. not one that i own, though. ive already seen those 2452353456356x :o\ damnit.

oh, yeah. another quote for today. "hello :o) i already miss you" -bus driver. heh.
  • Current Mood
    okay okay