May 19th, 2002


is something wrong, she said

of course there is. youre still alive, she said. oh and do i deserve to be? is that the question? and if so... if so... who answers... who answers...

did youuu know that: i will infiltrate your life, infest it like some sort of virus, the word Die! is too good for me, and im cocky gold digger? its a shame that youre all stuck with me. SUCKS TO BE YOU, EH? hahaha.

im home now. went to jameseses last night. he passed out before i got there (WUSS!). drank a 40. he tried to give me a massage but gave up. "give me one and ill learn". fucker. so then he rolled over and i tried to rub his back with one hand for a few minutes so he would stop whining, but i feel asleep while i was doing that. ha! woke up at around 2. took off cause sunday is usually the day his ex drives out to hang out with him. she lives faaaaaar. dont know why shes doing that shit when hes the EX. he says "she really likes me, so shell take what she can get". funny shit. im an "all or nothing" kind of gal, myself.

i feel like crap. i dont know if its from the drinking, or what. ive been sitting here shivering, but im not cold. i want food. food and weed. where the hell is danny or jamie. kjsdfhlsdjkgdkf.

oh, i was just reading a bit of my journal and i ran across that "no more weed" post. ha! i think i changed my mind, or somethin :oP

i cleaned up my room/area a bit. it feels much better.
  • Current Mood
    bored bored

im posting a lot, huh.

fuckin weird. my phone just told me that i have voicemail, so i call in and there is a message from this guy i used to date. i dont know what he was doing. a mercedes ad or commercial. something like that. he called to ask if i wanted to go there and do some modeling(?). said that they werent far from where i live and that hed send someone for me. very strange. anyhow, that was FRIDAY. i dont think im gonna be able to make it :oP i could have used the money, though :o\

the other message was from tom, just now. hes kinda hard to deal with. when i was hanging out with him all the time, i didnt want to deal. he was annoying and being a jerk. when he calls now he sounds so sweet, i almost forget who he is. if he wouldnt have said his name id have never guessed it was him. so very strange. bet he wants to go to a club or something. im too lazy for all that ish. plus, i have school real early.

danny called and actually got ahold of me. says hell call me tomorrow about the weed. finally. if i had some weed id be asleep by now.

woohoo! my mom just told me i could drink her beer, but not if im gonna go out. im surprised she didnt say shit when i left last night.

NecroNoir: becca likes you heheh... you should come up with me to their house to get stoned some time
xangelicdestinyx: ill go anywhere
xangelicdestinyx: hahahha
NecroNoir: lol
xangelicdestinyx: im so easy :oP
NecroNoir: yer not easy, you're a pain in the ass... but a fun pain in the ass so it's all good ;-)
xangelicdestinyx: WHATD I DO?
NecroNoir: i just think it's funny when i'm all stoned-stupid and moving slow or forgetting to do something so yer all "damnit, hurry up, faster faster faster" heheheh
xangelicdestinyx: i do that?
NecroNoir: mind you, saying you're a pain in the ass is sort of a compliment
xangelicdestinyx: hahhaa

the boy is sick :oP you have no idea how many miles ive put on my car. its a good thing i dont fuck. id be the booty call, cause when people are like "come over" im like "ok, be there in a few". heh.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused