September 27th, 2002



dude. preproduction, and set time. im scardedededed.

next week we get stared on head casting, sculpting, n all that. once all the pre production shit is done, i go on set to apply. OMFG. MY FRIST JOB, ON SOMETHING WITH ACTUAL ACTORS I KNOW THE NAMES OF, AND I HAVE TO APPLY A FULL PROSTHETIC. OMG, OMG, OMG. I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA HAVE TO BE POWDER PUFF GIRL OR SOMETHING i feel like im gonna barf. im not even sure what else im gonna have to do, but this is some hardcore shit. im nervous already and the weekend hasnt even started.


okok. i have to stop freaking out. holy shit, i pray there is another girl there. i have a feeling im gonna be the only chick. as if being one of the only chicks on set isnt bad enough, but dude. girls dont usually work in the fx shop with the guys. im gonna be doing that, and going on set. ahhhhhh$@#!$#@#$!
  • Current Mood
    scared scared

let me explain

prosthetics is part of the job. i know this. but its my first job and have a lot of responsibility (well more then i though id have). ill be there 100% of the way. so much room for error. most of the time theyll have pieces made and send back to the make-up dept to apply. im gonna be there from casting to application. i could break something, glue my hands together, plaster my insides, ANYTHING. ahhhhhhhhhhhh#$@$#!#$@!$@#! i really didnt think theyd trust me with much. i thought theyd just hired me on to make sure everything was ok and chase actors around with a powder puff. i was fuckin mistaken. most people start off with a powder puff, maybe doin beauty make-ups n shit. i cant think of anyone who had to apply a prosthetic on their first job. there is just far too much time and room for error. oh, but the cool thing is i get to learn how to use an airbrush. niiiiiiiiiiice. oh, well. the dept head knows im new. hell be around to help if i get stuck on something. i just pray that by the time i have to go on set to apply, im not as nervous.

oh, i called the chick in my class about my hair, since im not gonna have time for a while. i dont know if i liked the tone of her voice. i told you there was something weird in everyones eyes after graduation. everyone had this look in their eye like "let the games begin". im gonna be pissed if she jacks up my hair. i guess ill dye it tonight so its ready for her.
  • Current Mood
    stressed stressed

i have to pee sooooo bad.

have i told you about my new obsession? artists lofts. those live/work studios. theyre neat. i want one. want, want, want. i already have plans for it. maybe someday, eh? its possible.

i should call james and see if he wants to play with my car. i think he thought i was gonna flake last time cause when he called i was still at school, so we didnt do it. i should call his ass up. ooo, maybe hell do it after i get my hair cut. im sure hell want to see the new hair. shit, *i* want to see the new hair already.

teehee. he said lots of blood.

i need a nap, or to go out. either way, sitting here sucks.
  • Current Mood
    uncomfortable uncomfortable

oh look

ive got all this free time and nothing to do with it. i think ill post again. hahaha.

i want a massage. if only had had a bitch of my own. hrm. maybe i ought to find me one of them.

i took a nap. nap time is now over. what am i gonna do for the rest of the night. right now would be where having a guy for each day of the week would come in handy. my friday night could entertain me.

did he say hed call me back tonight? i dont remember and he hasnt called. he doesnt seem to be so great at calling me when he said would. oh, well. hes still got time. im impatient. hes clever. the next few weeks should be fun.

i didnt shoot with the beeeotch today cause she thought she had more money than she did and she contacted me to late. i had already given up on her, it was getting late. next time, i suppose.

one of my favorite people has not responded to any of my emails. makes me wonder if he ever got off the plane. i wonder whats up with him. maybe ill call tomorrow when the sun is up in both of our states. his ass better have a good reason for making me worry. oh wait. im not his mother. i guess thats good seeing as he hates his mother.

oh, wait. nevermind . he just responded to one of my emails. its about fuckin time. i sent him a link to the movie. i hope he doesnt say anything to anyone. im too freaked out about it to be tellin people. ahhh!$#!@$@#$#!

i should get goin with the picture takin. i want to ebay some of my crap. i own too much crap.

whoa. my mom has been cooking.
  • Current Mood
    bored bored

i feel like im drowning.

i think i drink too much water.

been in a good mood. watch that go away on monday. hahaha.

i dont have anything to do until i wakeup. lalala. maybe ill dye my hair now and brush my teeth again.
  • Current Mood
    bored bored