November 8th, 2002

shhh

soooooo

the shock/strut thingy wasnt broken it was the mount. thats what i said when the roadside service guy showed it to me, but he said the entire thing would have to be replaced. so got that mount fixed, found out i need 4 new tires. haaaaahaha. funk dat. i just spent 200$ on bullshit, i can drive on rims. i got another parking ticket, too. i moved the fuckin car so i wouldnt get one and i got the days mixed up. which means i didnt need go out in the rain at 4am. i was all excited about it too. "yay. the rain will wash most of the ick off my car". too bad i couldnt remember which side to park on. so now ive got 2 parking tickets to pay, and i finally paid that rolling stop ticket. fuckin aye. i should just give the city my account number and tell them to take out 100$ or so every month. anyway, lost my fuckin credit card. got a bit of cleaning done and still cant find it. if i dont find it today, im gonna have to report it stolen. cause i aint gots nooooo cash.

the worst thing about shit like this, is it pisses me off so bad cause i try so hard not to blow money. i havent even bought food in who knows how long, then i have to blow money on crap like this. so that makes me want to just blow money on the shit i want to. especially cause spending money on things i like makes me feel better. if im depressed, and i go shopping. depression goes bye bye. so for the two hours i was sitting around waiting for my car, i made up a list of all the things ive wanted to spend money on, but told myself i couldnt. theyre not even toys or clothes, theyre shit im gonna need to buy eventually. so. if my mood doesnt change by the time i have a credit card, im blowing so much money. hope to have a job by then. gotta call and tell them i can come in on monday. once i start getting paid i wont feel so bad. ill start to feel like i can breath once i get my credit card paid off. im in no hurry to pay jeff back cause its such a small amount and hes not charging me interest. hes not sweating me anyway, he knows im good for it.

oh, my mom is being a such a fuckin cunt. she does not know when to shut the fuck up. i feel like im about to snap. there isnt even a lock on this door to save her/me.

guess i gots to go. if you love me, call me. cause im gonna be fuckin bored. dont have the number? use this.
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shhh

shannon,

the sex thing is not a secret. if youd ever really read this thing, youd know that. what you claim to have heard was twisted. like in a game of telephone.

*i* told scott that dan asked if i was a stripper when he saw a shit load of clothes in the trunk of my car. not really sexy, just clothes. he liked em. even asked me where i where i got my outfit the night we saw you and scott at perversion, which was a hell of a lot more *and* classier than what you were wearin (see photo). anywho, i was spending a lot of time away from home, and didnt want to drive back and forth. kept stuff in my car so i didnt have to. i also doubt dan thinks im a hooker, considering scott tells people there is no chance in getting in my pants. *plus* dan sometimes hangs with tom, who would have been more than happy to claim me as one of his stalker/crazy/bitch/hoes especially cause i was living there, but couldnt, cause ive got more dignity than that. and, um, distorted? *ahem*. youve got to be kidding me. youre old, outa shape and youve got jowls. anyway, i dont remember talking to dan about you, and even if i did, i know for *damn* sure he didnt say you were pretty/prettier than me. id remember that, thats for sure. id have busted up laughing, so dont flatter yourself. ive hung out with dan a few times, and i *know* he is smart enough to stay out of shit like this. nice try, darlin.

i know scott talks about me to his hoes. trust me. the things he tells you are not secrets. ive talked about them in my journal, and ive talked about them in other peoples journals. if you had one real conversation with me, youd have heard what happened from my own mouth. not a big deal. in fact, i dont know what all that has to do with my not having sex. i dont have sex with people i dont want to have sex with. its as easy as that. because there are very few people that i allow inside of me, im tight. im picky, and can fuck myself better than some lame guy. sometimes i settle, cause i get lonely. what can i say. it happens.

look, i know youre tryin, but really. there isnt anything you can do. you just dont have the power to come between the two of us. ive been dealing with scotts disgruntled girlfriends for a long time now. heres just one example (look, hizzoe. I FOUND IT!$@!@#$! hehe), youre no different. the attempts are weak. they just cant phase me. we fight because scott is a wuss, not cause he said she said. i know whats what, and how far he can be trusted. so dont you worry about me. ill be fine.

i tried to help him last time, but i didnt do it correctly. i only freaked him out, and it sent him running back to you. hes stronger now, and can handle things on his own. hes done. no use in begging for him to come back anymore (yes, shut down your email client). consider this my sisterly advice to you...

move on & shut up.

and you know what, skank. dont ever put words in dans mouth again. you obviously dont know him. so dont even try to drag decent people in to the hell that is your world.

ive said it before, and ill say it again. better luck next time ;o)

oh, and one last thing. i liked how you tried to "help" me by telling me im no one special, but if im just some hoe or whatever. why would he invite me to family functions, make an extra key to his house for me, or even ask me to move in? its not like i ever asked or begged to stay there. you were with him, how long? you met his mother, once? oh, yeah. she cant stand you. ever get a key? i know you didnt cause hes called me while you were throwing a tantrum outside the door cause he wouldnt let you in. who does he still love, and who does he want to be rid of? ok, then. what else ya got, fo me? beeeotch.
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