November 16th, 2002



there is this song. i love it. "walk on by", by i forget who. i went to look up the lyrics, and the only sites that have them is one that doesnt list the name of the artist and gives incorrect lyrics. the other lists, i think a cover of the song, which had been fucked with (incorrect lyrics again). people are fuckin retarded. its a beautiful song, damnit!$#@!$#@! if i had a tape player, i could type the lyrics up, but the only tape player i have is in my fuckin car$#@#$@%#&%#$%@#$%!@%$!@# im trying to remember without the music.

if you see me walkin down the street, and i start to cry, each time we meet. walk on by. walk on by. make believe you dont see the tears, just let me grieve. in private, cause each time, i see you, i break down and cry. just walk on by.

oh baby, i just cant get over losing you, and so if i see broken in two. walk on by. walk on by. foolish pride, is all that I have left, so let me hide. the tears, and the sadness, you gave me, when you said goodbye. so walk on by.

blah, blah, blah. thats pretty much it.

das muh song, mang.

the song is not by gloria fuckin gainer. if you post her lyrics again, ill ban you. do not disrespect my song.

bet i start bleeding when i wake up. think i feel it getting ready to flow. when i stand up to go to the bathroom, ill start bleeding. how much you wanna (make a) bet.
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    aggravated aggravated

bleeding. told you.

and of course my zits are on their way out. yesterday morning they we so pissed, now if i hadnt messed with em, they wouldnt even be red. earlier i was in shit loads of pain, but slept with the heating pad, and now i feel betta. im lucky this happened on a saturday. by monday i wont even feel it. my knuckles burn though. im worried about scott. i was told hes has been getting yelled at cause hes been making a lot of mistakes lately. no wonder he was so worried. i think he may end up losing his job. i hope not, cause i like that scott. plus his girlfriend just had a baby, so they need the money. he was feeling really crappy yestday. he was sooo worried. i almost wanted to tell him to go smoke while i worked on it, cause he was sweating like crazy. hope he doesnt get fired. wish jason hadnt told me hes been fucking up. why do people tell me these things!@#$!$@#!

g0sh: i made 300 bucks last night
xangelicdestinyx: now you can buy me dinner
g0sh: or i can buy you a swift kick in the ass
xangelicdestinyx: youre a cheap bastard
g0sh: hahahaha

have i posted my theory about people in the "industry"? people who aint shit, like student directors, extras, even make-up artist (LIKE THE ONES IN MY FUCKIN CLASS), are they worst. they think that theyre hot shit and on the road to fame and fortune, or some shit. they always know best and are on some sort of power trip. everyone else is pretty damn cool. real actors dont fuss about what color lipstick youre using on them, or what youre gluing to their face. people with no talent and extras will wipe your make-up off, to put what they like (gloss for example), FOR A PERIOD FILM. like that one film i worked on. there was a seen of joggers. most of them looked like real joggers. the two who just happened to push their way to the front of the group, had a ton of make-up on. like they were going to a club. more fuckin make-up than the lead actress (who was so nice, and fuckin gorgeous). they also made sure they didnt look anything like the other runners (red and black spandex? the rest for the extras were in worn shorts and sweats). it was pretty bad, but the director didnt seem to care cause you couldnt really see them in the shot, but still. thats not the way to get "discovered". thats the way to piss people off and be taken out of the shot entirely. if theyd have fucked up the shot, theyd have been taken out. idiots. zoe says when she has that problem, and they dont listen to her, she tells the director right in front of them, then they have them with their back towards the camera the intire time. hahaha. like a time out. shes so funny.

which reminds me. jay readded me to his yahoo list. hes the one i told was fuckin obnoxious when he asked me to marry him. lets hope hes not still working in the industry. hes that last person id want to run in to. i could just imagine "yeeeeah, i boned her when she was 18". ahhhhh$@#!#$@! hes worked with people i know, so now ive gotta play nice :o\

awww, damnit. im cramping again.
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    worried worried


theres not one person i wanna talk to. i hate this. everyone on my entire aim list could log on right now, and id still have no one to talk to. ok, mybe hiedi. hiedi is good. wonder where she is. shes been mia for months now. blah, blah, blah. livejournal sucks, too. i might actually use my phone. scaaary.

ok, i take some of that back. there may a be a few people on my aim list that id like to talk to. maybe. most likely not you.

i hate talking to just anyone, cause im bored. thats never satisfying.

people are lame. so few are not.

wish it were monday.
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    bored bored

how the hell?

i slept all last night, woke up around 11am, went back to sleep around 1pm, and slept the day away. what the fuck? nowwwwwwww whaaaaaaaaaaaat.
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    confused confused

all gone.

it was amusing for a second, but now its gotten old and pathetic. had to go. get on with life, already.

it other more exciting news. i have to take a shit. i took one a while ago, but i think i my have to take one again. i should set up a shitcam.

i also bought yet another domain the other day. i just fuckin had to. it was 3am, and i was pissed. need to buy something. anyhow, its beautiful. i love it. dont know when im gonna launch it, but is gonna be my favorite of them all. i think. hope so, anyway.

where can i go. i wanna go somwhere. preferably beautiful. i want to surround myself with beauty and... nap.

oh, hahaha. i had a dream about cute boy at work. we were in some sort of crowd. like on a street. as he was walking away i asked him if he had a aim account and what his user name was. $%#@!#$!$@#!@#$

oh, yeah and the other day. went off on someone who is disgustingly pathetic, and just flat out disgusting. that was fun, but i woke up still disgusted, not remembering why.

in another one of my dreams i pulled out two of my bottom teeth. when i was little i used to love pulling out my teeth. i never waited for them to fall out. when i woke up i expected there to be blood, and missing teeth. was pretty damn surprised when there wasnt. maybe even a bit disappointed.

cute boy isnt reeeeeeeally *that* cute, or anything . i just have the hots for him, thats all. well, sorta. hes ok. think i just enjoy liking someone. guess its a good thing i dont really know him, eh? hahaha.

wish id gotten to see phantom of the opera when i was in 4th grade.
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    bored bored

man, the ink blots were scary.

Naomi, your unconscious mind is driven most by Love

Everyone has a desire to love. But your desire is rooted very deeply in your unconscious and affects many of the decisions you make in life — whether you are aware of it or not.

You have an energy about you that inspires people to experience their true feelings of love and act kindly towards others. In this way, you and your drive for loving relationships start a chain reaction of positive experiences.

The reason you are driven by love, may be because your unconscious is trying to avoid the opposite of love — hate. You, more than others, may be afraid of experiencing severe discord with others. That may, in turn, heavily influence your choices about relationships and the way you communicate your ideas, wants, and desires to others.

With such a strong orientation towards loving others, your relationships hold a very special place in your life. Your capacity to love may be greater than those around you, and therefore you may have more to give in relationships than your romantic partner does. Remember that this is a gift you have and one most others don't possess.

Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Love, there is much more to who you are at your core.

i wanna see what the 25 page report says :o\

Did you know?

People who have unconscious minds driven by love tend to be nurturing types who are good at taking care of those around them. They may also shy away from spending too much time alone.

what, nigga? i like to be alone. too many people irritate me with their stupidity. oh, wait. i guess that isnt true. nevermind. im just too lazy to leave the house. i like people (ones i like/dont piss me off) around.


oh, damn. it probably only send out the results and if you wanna take it again youd probably have to pay for the results a second time. $%!@#@$#!@$
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    bored bored