November 20th, 2002

shhh

waitin for traffic to die down

then itll be time go get dirty again. i never relized how prepared for a job like this i was. ive got muscle shirts, n shit. one white one with a hole, and a faded black one. im a cute little man, with my boots covered in crap and jeans that "used" to be black. i come home, look down and think, "i looks like ive been building a house". i dont know what im gonna wear today. think i might have run out of clean pants and tops that i dont mind fucking up. maybe ive got sweats.

i finally found that website. i had to ask what the url was, again. the word was spelt with an added c. thats why i couldnt find it. what a pain in my ass. class looks like its badass. think im gettin horny :oP whoa. bet there will be cute guys there!#$!@#$!#! hahaha.

i told colin id shoot with him this weekend. so of course, im breaking out. oh fuckin joy.

whoa, my mom made eggs. that means i get to eat more than once today. awwwwwwwwyea.

i just realized, with all this happiness, something horrible is bound to happen. LIKE CUTE BOY TELLING ME HES MARRIED :oP

riiiiiiight on. i just found whipped cream. im gonna make me some vanilla coffee.

coffee makes me wanna go poop.

some boys are icky. like poop.
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shhh

another thing i just realized

there is nothing in this world that will make me get all dolled up, if i dont feel like it. i havent brushed my hair in days. halloween was the last time i wore make-up. i just dont give a shit. ill go out to clubs like this, even. who cares. i dont, why should anyone else. i remember when i used to be concerned. i used try to myself look pretty. like i was in competition, n shit. my friends were so pretty. fuck that. i like this way of living better. tis betta. no one will like/love me because of the way i look. no one ever has.
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