December 23rd, 2002



i cant tell. i just, well not just, but a few hours ago i spoke to the duuude from work. i left him a message, and figured if i made a huge ass of myself while stoned, hed just ignore it. well, maybe. they avoid this one chick, so i thought they might do that, but he does have see me at work, so maybe not. anyway, he didnt. he mailed me back, and said to call him. so i did. we were on the phone for a bit. i hope that means im not an ass :oP i also worry about his girlfriend. i dont want her to think that i want her boyfriend or anything like that. she seems cool. im glad. shes really cute, and seems like she might be genuinely sweet. next time im gonna stay sober and try to talk to her more. it was difficult while i was stoned, cause i was trying to stay on track, and not say something fucked up.

oh, then i spoke to my beeeotch. she got fucked up last night too. i missed a call from her on my cell, but figured she had to work so i didnt call her back. turns out she was up all night, and so was i. i should have called her ass. she said she got all drunk and obsessed with me. kept trying to catch me on aim FROM SOME DUDES HOUSE, n shit. i guess she was telling stories about me too. she says he was supposed to call her and didnt. he probably thinks shes a big lesbo now. haaahahaha.

its amazing. i want my list from jeremy, right? i figured id ask. so today i ask, but i dont get a response. now i remember him doing this type of shit to me before. god hes annoying. is it to much for the retard to just answer me? apparently so. whats sad is hed be on top of shit if he thought there was a chance of getting laid. i sorta feel sorry for the guy. its been so long, and he hasnt changed at all. 24 years old, and still just a big ole dork. only hes not the interesting type of dork, hes just the "what a dork!" type of dork. wheres jag. hell make a list for me.

or not. oh well.

oh yeah. so hiedi and i decided that were just gonna get stupid around each other, cause its funny when its just us. when its with other people, it sucks. so from now on stoned with certain people, or by myself. much betta.

hahaha. you see how paranoid i am about those people? sucks. its a lot easier to hate everyone, and not care. how can i get back to that? why did they have go and be normal, decent people!%@!@#$!
  • Current Mood
    okay okay


fuckin in aye. my sleep schedule is fucked. if i could only stay awake till 8pm. but im tired. ive been watching dvds, playing with myself, sculpting with the wrong damn clay, playing with myself, reading, playing with myself, burning bridges, playing with myself, shivering. tiring shit, man. tomorrow/today i have to see about getting a box, and waiting in line at the post office. fun fun fun. hope brad doesnt wake me up toooooooo early (ya hear that, brad!?! :oP). im so sleepy. i love this feeling. though its painful when you cant sleep for whatever reason, and your eyes start to cross, n shit. thats not so much fun, but once im done with this i get to curl up and go to sleep. yay.

shit. i forgot to mail connie back. i need to white merry christmas emails, cause sending them after christmas would be bad. tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. what day is christmas on anyway? i think its the 24th. maybe the 25th. soon is all i know.

hrm. i was just thinking. fuck going to the breast clinic. i had too many bills, and miscalculated (i seriously thought id been jacked). now ive gotta put more money in to the checking account somehow. im not gonna spend 100$, get poked, only to get called back cause they need to run even more tests or some lame shit like that. fuck that. its not cancerous. thats why i keep tellin myself, anyway. it cant be. id be dead now, right? right. wouldnt my boob be horribly disfigured, or something? its gonna be 10 years soon. its gotta be a friendly lump. and i play with it all the time. it loves me.

i keep scratching my sculpture with my nails. theyve gotta go. but i wanted to see how long theyd get before theyd break!@#!$#!@$#!@ im surprised theyve made it this far. my real nails hold up better than the secretaries fake ones. she was moving something, and broke one. she wasnt too happy. i bet i wont be happy when i break one, cause itll probably be a painful thing. that and i worry theyre gonna poke through my gloves while im dealin with somethin nasty.

wish there was water in my cup.
  • Current Mood
    sleepy sleepy

ok so the phone rang

but its wasnt brad to wake me up. i blew the entire day. again. i have to pee and eat, but pee more than anything. im surprised hiedi hasnt called. who the hell was that on my cell? they didnt say nothin, and it was a local number. freaks.

who used all of my toothpaste!@#!$#!@@#$!

sun chips for breakfast. go me.

sooooo, did i tell you my wonderful idea? no? good. cause its a secret.
  • Current Mood
    hungry hungry


brad calls *now*, "you have you whole day ahead of you!" im like "dude, this is when i usually wake up. i needed to go to the post office." hes like "oh". hahahaha. so then we were talking a bout livejournal and i was having a good ole time thinkin about ways of torturing all the free users. that was fun, but hes no fun. mr. not-wanting-to-piss-everyone-off :o\ !@#$!#$@!$#@!$@!

ok. so, seeing as i need space, and brad hasnt bought our loft yet. im thinkin theres gotta be somewhere i can rent space to do crap, for cheap. like, maybe one of those self storage places. itll be cool, cause then i could get a lot of my shit out of the way here, and have somewhere put paper down, stick a table on top of, and do my messy thang. i just dont know if they allow it. wish i could get a storage unit with a kitchen. thatd be perrrfect.

i just need a garage. wish jamie didnt move. hed have let me use his garage.

i dont know how people do shit in hardly any space. that drives me crazy!#$@!@#!$#! i really hate this no space shit.

g0sh: need to get a slave
xangelicdestinyx: me too
g0sh: i was thinking maybe one of them mail order brides
xangelicdestinyx: yeeeeeah
g0sh: a hot japanese one or some shit like that

their lives must suck:

i know someone who actually looked in to this. had all these russian chicks bookmarked. how freaky is that. not only that, he probably had a girlfriend at the time, since he cant live without one.

haahahaha. i should sell hiedi. i wonder how much i could get for a little crazy german/filipino girl.

xangelicdestinyx: sun chips make me have to shit
g0sh: hahahah
xangelicdestinyx: a sun chip shit is different from a regular shit
g0sh: how so
xangelicdestinyx: its heavier
xangelicdestinyx: NOW IM BORED
g0sh: so entertain me
xangelicdestinyx: sure
xangelicdestinyx: come watch me take this shit
g0sh: hahaha
g0sh: ill bet you could find some people to pay you for that
g0sh :P
xangelicdestinyx: like steve (tatoodevil)

  • Current Mood
    amused amused

sitting sucks

i hate sitting. id rather be standing. someday i want huge shelves, so i can fuckin stand while im doing shit. or tall tables. shelves suck for doin shit on, but i want the space. hahaha.

oh my god, i just remembered a fuckin dream that had something to do with my ass. which reminds me that i need to go to the fuckin gym. wish hiedi would move her ass down here, like, today. wed be havin so much fun, being drunk/stoned, makin shit, and going to the gym to drool at guys work out. good stuff. almost like the good ole days, cept more productive, cause we need money. i cant believe it. shes rich compared to me :o\ when the hell did she learn how to save money?

i just realized, ive run out of people to hate. now what? its almost scary. i like too many people, and dont hate enough. thats sooo 10 years ago. holy shit. that was 10 years ago. hahahahaha.

its funny, cause 10 years ago 22 seemed so far away. now its slipping away so fast. in another 10 years ill be 33. myyy gaaawd. thats frighting. i dont wanna be old and in pain. ive got enough back problems as it is. i really need to go to the gym.

to jaz:

it happens. people are late when they drive, as well. im sure it didnt kill him. and if it *was* that serious then, he should have taken an earlier bus to be sure hed get there on time, since the mta is so horrible n all. thats called thinking ahead. just like leaving early in case theres traffic. your "people cant better their lives riding the bus" point is still null.

disabling comments wont shut me up. you should know that by now.

p.s. i like how get your last word in, disable comments, then make a separate post on the subject. youre the one who is all riled up and calling it an argument. i was trying to have a conversation with you. a valid point would have been welcomed, its just a shame you didnt have one, yet kept the "argument" going. thats what i call juvenile.

oh, and: I dont need to lie to please anyone in my lj posts because im afraid of their reactions/over-reactions.

id love to know what youre even talking about there. over reaction? by calling you on a bullshit excuse? mmmk. there ya go. and who is telling lies. were talking about excuses here. are you trying to call me a liar? is that it? bring it on. i dont mind.

dwaine is of no help... oh my god. he did not just say the dumbest thing in the fuckin world to me. and i thought glen said stupid shit that made me wanna barf.

i said bye and shut the window.

dwaine: I was just kidding
dwaine: are you mad now?
xangelicdestinyx: dude, you are really disgusting
xangelicdestinyx: i thought glen said dumbass shit
dwaine: I`m sorry
xangelicdestinyx: its hard to believe youre older than he is
dwaine: I just watched south park
xangelicdestinyx: what does that have to do with anything
dwaine: I guess that you have not seen the movie
xangelicdestinyx: i have
xangelicdestinyx: and what does that have to do with being disrespectful?
dwaine: nevermind
dwaine: I`m sorry
dwaine: I was out of line
dwaine: I didnt mean to offend you
dwaine: It wont happen again

hahaha. now im all amused. made me feel like a school teacher or something :oP

dwaine: I`m going home now I`ll talk to you later
dwaine: sorry again
xangelicdestinyx: its ok
dwaine: dont stay mad

heh. he knows i hold a grudge. i still cant believe that was him. sounded nothing like dwaine. my god.

ill get over this eventually. im not even mad anymore, but, oh my god. that was fuckin bizarre.
  • Current Mood
    sleepy sleepy