March 7th, 2003


fuck what ya heard. im a liar.

james was worried about me posting sensitive information in my journal, so i flipped out and said id just pretend that i didnt know him. i figured thatd make him happy (and he has the nerve to ask me what i mean by crazy :oP). but today i said fuuuck that, and he said thats not what he wanted. he just didnt want me posting private stuff. so now, back to how james is so cute :oP when hes not in my head shouting about how gonna go a fuckin :o\

anyhow, i think im getting sick now. damnit, and i thought my body was doin a good job of defending itself from james cold. at least my lips arent chapped anymore. that fuckin sucked. licking them only made it worse, and anytime i smiled or laughed, my god. i loooooves me some chapstick.

ok, so my moms cat was put to sleep. shes handling it a lot better that id expected. the cat was pretty damn old. id been telling her he wanted to die, but shed start crying and get all pissed. so anyway, on sunday he didnt look so hot, and by the end of the night he could hardly breathe. so he went night night. i went to james house that night, which was good, cause ive been around for the death of cats before, and it gets ugly. id been planning on asking him if i could go over there when it happened, but i didnt think itd be that soon. its no wonder she seemed so happy about me leaving. she was planning to take kato to the hospital. anyhow, now the other kittys dont have daddy to cuddle with :o\

i am gonna be in fucking hell if i get sick. i hate to be sick. i neeever get sick. damnit, i dont wanna get sick! i usually dont, so maybe the ickyness will pass. tonight james sounded like he was dying. poor james. poor me. stupid cold. my head has been hurting a bit. think its my eyes. hate my eyes. maybe its my neck. james was rubbing my neck the other day, and it felt sooo good. i gotta get me some more of that. maybe its just the cold takin over :o\ i will not get sick! unacceptable!@##$@!#$!@! :o\ :o\ :o\

mooooommy daaaaaaaddy :oP

im breakin out. i thought i was in the clear, cause i didnt get any crazy fuckers around "that time of the month", but now theyre making an appearance. figures. and everything was clearing up cause i couldnt mess with my face on the road trip. two of em cant be covered up by bangs, either :o\ they just hurt so bad. want them to go away!$!$@!$@!#$@!

no more student loan payments until next year. awwwwwyea :oP

crap. i have to study :o\ cant put it off much longer. boooring.

laundry and ebay tomorrow. dont forget. pay car insurance.
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    sick sick