April 7th, 2003


who gots coffee

i gots coffee! :oP

thank yall niggas fo the birthday wishes. it was iiight. dont like the idea of aging, though. damnit! i fuckin haaate that!!! i dont wanna get wrinkly, age spots, broken capillaries, varicose veins, flabby and saggy stuff!#$@!#$! pffft :o\

ok, so i have a choice to make. keep myself entertained online, or turn off the computer and do some of the things i be needin to do. when i woke up, i thought "ill just log on for a few". that was a load of horse shit. so now i need to decide. give up on getting shit done, or step away from the computer. sooo difficult. maybe ill have one more cup of coffee, then turn this sucka off. or at least disconnect from the internet. listen to music, or a movie. though a movie might suck me in. at least i cant go back to sleep, since i just fuckin woke up.

oh, oh, oh. my luck. ive been invited to this thing that some people who are opening a place i wanna work for are hosting. of course, that would be the night james destroys shit! damn, damn, damn :o\


anyhow. got my moms sweing machine out, finally. now to figure out how to use it. that, and buy fabric to play with. once i figure this out, i dont wanna wear my clothes ever again. i hate them all. ok, not all, but most. the shit that i cant wear on a daily basis, i like, everything else needs to go. i cant ever find anything i want to wear, so i just throw on whatever, my slippers/sandals and go. or if i do find something thats half decent, i put it on and find that it doesnt fit anymore. its so fucked up. its just a good thing i dont go anywhere, so i dont have to deal with it ever. but, by summer time, i should have stuff i actually wanna wear. hrm. maybe then ill leave the house. i used to enjoy getting dressed, and putting makeup on to go out. i dont know what happened :o\ ooo, maybe i can buy the stuff and have my mom make the really simple stuff. i could give her money or do her grocery shopping for her, or somethin. yeeeeeah. yeah, yeah, yeah.

oh, i dyed my hair "dark intense auburn", or some shit like that. they didnt have the color i wanted in the brand i like, so i settled. its an ok color, but i dont want it. and it only took where i hadnt used the metallic dye. the rest didnt get any color at all. so ill be dying it all brown/black once i find the dyes. i just saw them, but i think those might have been the black dyes, and i dont want black hair. nooo. maybe ill hunt down the color i want, and dye it that, then add darker color throughout. in which case i wouldnt mind using the black dye. yeah, maybe. well see. if not, ill live with one dull color. can always add hair to it, again.

its funny how long it takes for me to drink a cup of coffee :oP

i have sad eyes. i didnt used to have sad eyes :o\
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