she had me up all last night. so will she let me sleep today? of course not. what a fuckin bitch. she swears she doesnt want to have anything to do with me yet she will not do what she could to avoid me. she wanted to type something up on her computer. she *could* bring her computer out here and never have to see me again, since i dont leave the room for anything other than food, bathroom and to leave the house. and its not like there is anything in there. its just crap that she doesnt use. she doesnt even need a bedroom. she sleeps where the tv is, and the tv is in the livingroom. she just uses that room to throw her garbage. there isnt even space to walk in there. just where i sleep and the table her computer is on. the rest is trash. its a tiny computer and i told her id move it for her, but no. instead i have to move my computer every time. and like last night. she could have typed at any time during the day, but nooo. she had to type at night, knowing that i wanted to be in bed by 10pm. im gonna have to figure some things out. i gotta get the hell out of here. this time when i get an apartment im not gonna have my number listed (thats how she stalked me last time) and im thinking about getting all my info changed. sometimes i feel sorry for her and think maybe i shouldnt talk shit, but fuck her. shes always gone out of her way to fuck with me. lied to me for years about a bunch of things. kisses my ass to get me in situations like this (where im living with her and dont have too many other options) just so she can treat me like shit and i have to deal with it. when i move out shell be kissing my ass again, im sure. what i need to remember for next time is that there is a reason why the world hates her. her family doesnt want anything to do with her (including me). she doesnt have any friends, blah blah blah. its cause shes a fuckin bitch. maybe thats why she stopped liking me. i was an ok daughter till i started going to jr.high. i had a shitload of friends in school. people were always calling or coming to get me. she hated it. she would bitch about the phone all the time. thats when she started trying to send me to placement. hrm. dont know. oh well. i wont be here much longer. something will come up, it always does. i wish most of the people i went to school with didnt still live with their parents. hahaha. then we could get a place together. lucky bastards. i wish i had a normal family, or a family at all.
ahhh. my tummy just started to hurt again. it probably from her pissing me off. when i leave here im gonna start being super healthy. she fuckin yelled at me yesterday for not eating the crumb cake that she bought, as if i was insulting her. but if i had eaten some, shed have bitched me out for eating her food. i dont want crub cake, anyhow. i want real food. no way im gonna end up 65621546152346 pounds like she is.