at least i can say "its my fault i didnt get good grades in school", its my fault i didnt even show up most of the time", its my fault im unhealthy and getting fat", "its my fault i fucked up my hair, teeth & skin", "its my fault i dont have an apartment today", "its my fault i dont have a better car", "its my fault i didnt do better on previous tests and even the ones i took this week (not sure how well i did yet, but im sure i could have done better)". lots of things are my fault. nothing has ever been hers. if i dont end up with the type of live i desire that will be my fault too. she should have aborted me too, but then who would she blame her crappy life on?
k, i think im done with this. i hope she doesnt come in here again. i need ear plugs.