my teacher (shes a nurse) says that need to see a doctor cause i could be having major heart problems. she was freakin me out. oh joy. im gonna get a membership to a gym and health insurance asap. i dont wanna die just yet. im also gonna buy this chair. i want to buy this chair, but, ummm... i wish. i shouldnt be spending the money in the first place, but i cant deal with this shit. im in fuckin pain. that one vein burns when it freaks out. i dont even know if i can get a job as a massage therapist since its my legs that ill be working the most and now theyre all fucked up. absolutely wonderful. bloods not working in my legs. probably not working so well in my head, either. im 22, what next? i think this is cause i havent done and exercise in over ten years and ive spend so much time at the computer in weird positions cause ive never had a desk and a chair. cept for now, but this folding chair and table dont work that well. you do realize that if i find out im sick, im gonna go nuts and kill myself, dont you? so keep your fingers crossed. im gonna go to the cemetery so i can walk around and cry about random shit without people thinking im nuts. ooo, cute boys live next to the cemetery. maybe ill put some makeup on beforehand, just in case. i need walking shoes. wait. nevermind. im gonna go buy some shoes. i dont have time to go to the cemetery today. plus, ill want my cell (which i dont have) just incase i get lost, or something. then i can go to forest lawn and visit victor. itll be my first time. too bad im not friend with glen anymore. he knows his way around real well (hes a funeral escort).