hrm. im gonna buy one of those little tv/vcr combos so i have something else to do other than sit in front of the computer.
i made another mess. no where to walk or sleep. i really dont feel like dealing with it right now, so i wont. maybe ill just sleep on top of everything. sounds like a plan.
was gonna shoot tonight, but i wasnt in a leaving the house kind of mood. what else is new, eh? ive actually been wanting to go out, but i dont know what to do. bars creep me out. everyone is so deprately seeking, it makes me feel icky. bands and djs suck, for the most part. i want to something else, anyway. theres gotta be something better to do than go out and get wasted. whoa, did i just type that? now that im thinkin about it there probably isnt, i just dont dig the bar scene. or club, for that matter. probably why i hardly ever go. think ill go out tomorrow, though. if not, some time soon. i think itd be good for me. its ok every once and a while, i guess.
my spine is all fucked up. its been hurting and cracking in weird places. ive also been having muscle spasms. is there a neurologist in the house? maybe i just need it cracked, or something. what i want is a fuckin massssssssssage. mmm, hot shower, cracked, then massaged. damn, make sure ive been fed and get a few drinks in me and who knows. i just might... pass out.
i was thinkin about drinkin, but there isnt anything decent here. theres no way im goin out and buyin somethin, either. im broke. guess its just me. sober. in my head. all alone. thats alllllllways bad. i should have done that shoot. tomorrow, i guess. funny how i used to pile on so much make-up, and now i cant be bothered.
oh, i just thought of someone i want to call. fuckin aye, why it gotta be so late. at least tomorrow is saturday.
where are my hoes? why arent you online? i want my favorite lesbo, damnit.
i know what id rather be doing, than getting wasted. heh heh.
hopefully someone will be available to cut my hair tomorrow.